mr darcy takes a wifeNo, no, no. (Note to self, read the first and third Pamela Aidan book soon to detox from these successive poorly done “fan fics” I’ve read lately). Le Sigh.

According to Ms. Berdoll, Darcy and Lizzy weren’t really good at communication before their marriage (fairly realistic) and that they don’t really need to ever talk to improve that–they just need to do it a lot (less realistic). Frequently. All the time. Anywhere. Everywhere. Hold up, middle of a serious conversation, well, it’s time to get it on, now what were you saying dear?

It was tedious. Yes, they are newlyweds. I get that. They do it like bunnies. But their actual character development and relationship building was so sporadic and disjointed–it was really difficult to figure out where they had progressed on what subject.  The first few chapters of this book establish this pattern of “hunh? *head scratching.*  They’re in the carriage, and Lizzy seems pissed at Darcy even though it’s the wedding day… no resolution, just sex. A few chapters go by and we go back with Lizzy thinking about what insensitivity had her pissed at him that day back in the first chapter.

It was also tediously long. If we hadn’t been there with them in the bedroom for so many pages, it all could have been so much shorter. There’s also some crazy kidnapping of Lizzy and near (well, actually partial) defilement by the nasty man and Darcy turning into some cool killer in his rage. I won’t speak to the fact that I don’t know why some women think it’s romantic to be saved from defilement.

This is really the usual formula of post-marriage Darcy stories: sex, infertility issues, miscarriages, kidnappings, etc. One unexpected feature was the author’s lingo. Bring a dictionary. She goes old school and won’t settle for words of less than four syllables. At first it was jarring, but after a bit you get used to it and she does stick with it the whole way through–which is a good thing.

The only redeeming quality to this book for me was that, I’ll read anything Pride and Prejudice related, it was one book that was huge and thus ideal for taking on a long vacation knowing it would last me longer than the plane flight. Now it’s with a bouquinist on the banks of the Seine waiting for some American P&P devotee wanting a tome for the long plane ride home. Again, pass on this one–unless you are looking for just one travel book to last you a few days-because hey, you’ve got nothing better to do.